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FROM THE CENTER An occasional newsletter from the Ben Lomond Quaker Center vol.7 no.1 Winter, 2004 |
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| TRANSFORMATION
Contents: Transformation How does Quaker Center transform people's lives? Starting with this question, Quaker Center's Intern, Sara Wolcott, interviewed several people who have been coming to Quaker Center for a long time. These stories of transformation became the articles in this newsletter. Quaker Center is, as one interviewee said, like a rock: steady and stable, providing a safe space for people to open and possibly realign themselves. Of course, Quaker Center itself also transforms: this newsletter explores some of our more recent transformations. The building formerly known as the Art Center is now The Haven, and is available for personal retreats. Quaker Center's capital campaign for transforming the Redwood Lodge into a brighter, more appropriate space for those we serve is well underway. These are all transformations that come out of openness to leadings and listening to our heart. As Bo Forsythe says: if our hearts are open, we can change. An Open Heart and Bo Forsythe sat in a patch of sunlight, soaking up its rays like the lizards he admires. As I climbed out of the truck, his wizened-apple face broke into a bright smile. Apologies of being late died at my lips. I was in the presence of one of those rare individuals for whom the clock around which I revolved my life was of little importance. I was here. He was here. What else mattered? I had driven into the heart of the mountain to learn more about one of Quaker Center's regulars. The "interview" I had planned on conducting quickly turned into something closer to worship-sharing as he told me stories illustrating why, for the past 14 years, he keeps coming back to Quaker Center. Bo compares QC to a rock: "Quaker Center is a quiet and strong influence just being there. I've gone to huge rocks, just big, big stones, [when] I've been in a jittery state of being. And I put my body next to the rock, and I gain the quietness and stillness of that rock. That is a parable of what Quaker Center has been for me." Since stumbling upon Workcamp over a decade ago, he has been a regular presence. Workcamp is a precious experience for him because people of diverse ages and skills not only make a difference through their service, but also build a community filled with integrity. More recently, Bo joined the Buildings and Grounds Committee which he treasures because of the amount of listening that happens. "We get to sit still [in worship together]. It's the first time I've ever been part of a group where everybody listens. We are not always thinking about what we want to say. We are paying attention and listening. It's fabulous. The folks at Quaker Center [have] taught me about active listening." Bo is all the more appreciative of integrity and deep listening because he has lived life without it. "I lived a great portion of my life in denial and under the influence of alcohol. Just being crazy and partying and running away. A lot of [my] life I didn't listen to anything." The peace of nature; communities (however brief) that live with integrity; group active listening: Bo kept coming back to these seemingly theoretical ideas which were lived by the individuals who came to Quaker Center. Bo emphasizes that Quaker Center is a place where theory and practice meet: "Quaker Center not only represents, but it is. Like, words on a page represent things. But, Quaker Center is more than just words on a page. It actually is truth. It is quiet and stillness." His experiences at Quaker Center help him stay centered and give him a further vision of what he wants to become. He finds that, if our hearts are open, we can change. One of the most significant changes in his life, initiated by experiences at Quaker Center, has been his work with children. It started almost accidentally. His partner Jane was cooking for Quaker Center's week-long kids' camp. He had never worked with kids before, nor was he inclined to do so. But he found himself sitting on the edge of the group, watching the children play. And he kept coming back. "The first couple of years at the kids' camps, it wasn't easy for me. I didn't know how to relate to children. I was very embarrassed about how harsh I was. It's gotten a lot more fulfilling [and] easier because I've gained some knowledge, and [I'm better at] opening up to where they are. Kids are not trying to work us over, they are just curious, investigating, learning. My goal is to help children empower themselves. And as I keep that in mind, I notice that I am becoming more empowered." Transformed by these experiences, he started taking classes at Cabrillo College. At the end of his life, he has found an unprecedented leading which gives him great joy: working with children. He did not come to Quaker Center consciously looking for peace, for that solid rock that could help settle him. He did not come looking for a new vocation. But he found them, and he found them here. Perhaps there is something in the combination of the institution, the physical location and the culture of this sacred place that gave Bo the ability to see what was in front of him. As he says, it was always here, waiting for him. All he had to do was open his eyes. We here at Quaker Center sincerely thank all of you who make the work we do here possible, especially the volunteers! We particularly wish to thank: all the Workcamp volunteers; George for pruning trees; Victoria for helping with mailings; OJ, Rebecca, and Jack for sweeping the roads before the Year End Retreat; Caitlin for sewing curtains; and Marie for road-side maintenance. Everyone's kind donations, contributions and involvement in Quaker Center enable all those who come here to find what they need in order to continue their work in the world. Deva Luna would not consider herself a mystic. Like so many of us, Deva struggles to be fully present in her daily life. Yet every once in a while she has one of those mysterious, miraculous moments when the struggle disappears and she feels an overwhelming sense of the Divine. Many of these experiences have happened at Quaker Center, and all of them have altered her life. Her first major experience here led her to leave her then husband and eventually to create a new home with her partner Terra Lee. Below, Deva describes her most recent experience, which happened about a year ago on a sunny day in July. She was sitting outside of the Orchard Lodge during a six-day Non-Violent Communication Workshop. "I was practicing the deep art of empathy. I was trying to empathize with someone about whom I had a lot of judgments -- which really gets in the way! It was in the process of doing this [that] I had a "profound spiritual experience." Deva hesitated before continuing, grappling for words like a blind person grappling for light. "During [this], time stood still and -- this sounds so hoaky -- I was extremely aware of the one-ness of being in contact with this one person and the other people. It happened in such a dramatic way that the other people at the table got it too." "Colors became more vivid. Smells were stronger. I had a heightened awareness of everything around me. [I had the sense that] anything is possible. I knew that we are all connected. I was entirely and completely present. I guess that really tells you how often I'm not. It was definitely a "direct experience of profound Presence. I don't think it had to do with the person I was listening to. Perhaps it was the process. The location [Quaker Center] definitely contributed in a really profound way." "Once after such an experience, I didn't have to sleep for 24 hours the entire day afterwards and everything I tried to do became magically, even effortlessly, possible. Even difficult conversations I had been dreading happened easily." "I wish I could say that these things happen all the time to me, but they don't. At least I know that they happen sometimes." Deva has found more than those wonderful experiences of Presence here at Quaker Center. In the wide range of opportunities Quaker Center offers, from private retreats to Year End celebrations, she has found community and deepened friendships. She has played, worshiped and rejoiced in the beauty of nature. Even when she has not had those mystical experiences, she says, "Every time I go to Quaker Center I am so thoroughly moved, usually spiritually. I hold the warmest of feelings for the sacredness of the place." Treading Lightly: When I was chopping up onions for Thanksgiving dinner, I kept putting the thin skins into a separate pile instead of throwing them into the trash. At one point my mom came over and said, "Sara, why are you doing that?" "Compost," I answered. Duh! "Um, Sara, we don't have a compost pile." I stopped and gave her my that-is-so-stupid look. "We haven't composted for years," she added, hinting that since I had lived at home two summers ago, I really should remember this. "Well, we need to," I responded. "I'm sure you are right. Next time you come home, you can build one." I wasn't putting vegetable ends in a separate pile to annoy my mother. I was doing it because it had become a habit. A habit I had picked up in the last three months at Quaker Center. Mind you, I don't compost at Quaker Center because it is easy. I don't do it because everyone else does it. I do it because I go to the dump. Every week, I get to take the trash, recycling and sometimes brush to the dump. It's an enjoyable chore -- one gets to stand on the back of a pick-up and hurl large garbage bags over the edge of a platform, hearing a very satisfying crash on the other end. But more than that, I watch our relatively small amount of garbage (we encourage recycling, which makes a big difference) being added, week after week, to the ever growing mountain of trash. Every week there is more trash. Not just from Quaker Center but from all over Ben Lomond as individual households, groups and businesses throw away their waste. Unfortunately, some groups at Quaker Center also throw away paper, cardboard, tin cans, and vegetable-parts. Parts that don't have to be there, and only add to the growing mountain of garbage. I can always tell the difference between cooks who compost and cooks who don't. The difference in the smell, weight and size of the dump-run is unmistakable. I encourage all groups to compost, and sometimes I get the honor of teaching them about how to compost. And I hope that if they do it here, maybe, just maybe, they will start to do it at home. But I suspect they won't. I, for one, knew a lot about composting before I came here. Going to the dump every week and watching that pile of trash rise high above my head until the men who work there finally transport what we throw away to the landfill in Watsonville (because the land-fill in Ben Lomond is already full), led me to compost in earnest. It is not an unknown garbage-man who throws the trash into the dump. It's me. When I go home from the dump, my truck is fast and free -- until the next week when I load those black bags into the back of my truck again. And I've been thinking, as I wind my way past the artificial mountain of trash and up into my beloved mountain of redwoods, that the next time I go to visit my parents, I'm going to build them a compost system.
Having raised 80% of the necessary funds, we now believe reconstruction of the Redwood Lodge Dining Room could begin as soon as September 1, 2004! This project will greatly enhance Quaker Center's capacity to serve the public and support us in reaching out to non-profits with important work but limited resources. To achieve this goal, your support is still needed. For further information, to learn more about our plans or to make a gift to help transform our plans into a reality, contact Quaker Center. Sojourning Before retiring, before her career as a therapist, before going back to school to become a therapist, Reba Fournier was coming to Quaker Center. Ten years into her involvement with the Center, Reba's job burned her out. In 1987, she decided to go to Quaker Center for a four day personal retreat- becoming what Quaker Center calls a sojourner. She hoped to find some semblance of peace for her troubled mind. It was not, Reba remembers, a particularly easy retreat. Her body was physically unwell. She was not used to the silence or the solitude. And, most of all, she was grappling with a knot of emotional pain. But by the end, she'd untied a small piece of the knot. From that point on, she has returned to Quaker Center twice a year for a four-day private retreat. "[This has had] an incredible impact on my life. I've been in therapy twice, but I can not go to the depth in a therapy session the way I can during four days at Quaker Center. It is hard to put into words. There is no schedule. I eat and sleep when I want. It is so unusual to be silent for four days. I do a lot of reading and writing and walking and sleeping. I just evolve my own way of being there that lets me delve deeper. I try to go to the Meditation Cottage twice a day." Each time she comes, the experience is slightly different. "Initially it was quite painful because I was dealing with heavy issues. Recently it has become much more peaceful." Her overall experience is that of finding a haven: "It's the place that has been my safe place. I've created it, and it has helped to create me. It is now where I go to sink into something deeper. I haven't had those transcendent experiences that some people talk about, but I have had some deep shifts." The shifts vary from changing aspects of her meditation practice at home, such as introducing walking meditation into her daily practice, to her decision to leave the agency where she had worked for sixteen years. On that occasion, she felt that she could no longer work at that particular hospital without compromising her integrity. She suspects she would have left eventually, but the semi-annual silent retreats speeded up the process. Many of the changes she has made are too difficult to articulate, or too personal for our newsletter. Because of her experiences at Quaker Center, Reba Fournier is dedicated to giving back to the Center. She is an active participant of the ad-hoc fundraising committee for the Redwood Lodge. She has decided to spread her ashes on the property after her death. Because of the power of her experiences, she comes back, twice a year every year, to continue the never-ending process of reflection and realignment. Dear Lord, make us bread. Stephen led a workshop on early Quaker writers, Going to the Well, at Quaker Center January 30- February 1. Personal Retreats: We have transformed The Art Center into The Haven! The Haven is now available for personal retreats We have built and installed a new, comfortable queen-sized Murphy Bed. The Haven includes a kitchenette, enclosed outdoor shower, sofas, private bathroom, heater and skylight. Additional floor-mats offer options for a family or a small group. The Haven is the sunniest and most open of our three personal-retreat options. So far, individuals have particularly enjoyed the spaciousness with which they can practice yoga, dance, or spread out books and papers.Quaker Center is committed to keeping personal retreat rates as low as possible in order to make personal retreats affordable to all. Our sojourning spaces are exclusive rentals for only one party; that "party" may range from one to eight individuals. With the new year we have also changed our rates. On our sliding scale, the minimum mid-week rate for one person in the Sojourners' Cottage is $50, The Haven (previously the Art Center) is $25, and the Redwood Lodge as a personal retreat space is still at the available at $17 per night. We are pleased that all of these prices are below market value. Please call for more precise numbers and availability. Updated Ben Lomond Quaker Center is currently in the process of updating our Leadership Directory: A Resource for Planning Workshops and Meeting Retreats. The Directory originally rose out of recognition of the incredible wealth of skill within the Religious Society of Friends. . We hope to present the wider Quaker community with an up-to-date guide of thoughtful leaders who bring fresh ideas and the clarity of discernment to your meetings. Subjects will range from deep ecology to sacred chants to Quaker history, to name a few. Friends listed in the directory will be gathered from lists of presenters at Quaker Center, workshop leaders at Yearly and Quarterly Meeting, and individuals who are recommended by their Monthly Meeting. We hope that the new directories will be ready to distribute at Pacific Yearly Meeting summer gathering. If you have any questions, or have someone in mind who you think should be in the Directory, please do not hesitate to contact Intern Sara Wolcott. Life Record: I came to Quaker Center trained to record: my background producing radio and my degree in anthropology both emphasized the importance of documenting people's stories. In interviewing people for this newsletter, I noticed the difficulty my interviewees had finding words adequate for their experience. Not surprising considering the subject: that which touches our soul and heart is notoriously difficult to capture with words. I realized that the stories I collected are a pale second compared to the stories these men and women live each day. Words - mine or theirs - can never fully capture their lived experiences. I have a new understanding of that old saying, "let thy lives speak." In a world of speaking lives I am reminded that recording stories is less important to me than living them. SJW |
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